I am not particularly inspired to blog anything tonight so I am posting a pic instead. This was one of the first paintings I ever did on my own after the required school projects. I painted it on an old bed sheet primed with PVA.

The sheet has an odd story attached to it… our first family pet, when I was a child was a Boxer named Jessie. She ripped a sheet off the washline, damaged it, and for some reason my mom never threw it away. When I was hunting around for something to paint on years and years later, the ruined bed sheet was just the thing.

I used cheap oils – one of those box sets with tiny tubes and loads of different colours. I hammered the frame together myself out of scraps of wood in my dad’s garage. This painting hangs above my parent’s fireplace now.

My mom tells me that the paint is starting to flake in places – no surprise considering the poor quality materials used. I may have painted loads of paintings since but this is the one that I love the most. 

26/3 Me

Last night I challenged Nicole to write 50 random facts about herself. It seems appropriate then that I do the same.

OK… here goes…

  1. I don’t eat baked beans.
  2. I have spent most of my working life hating my job.
  3. I have recently fallen in love with sushi. I consider it a sign of the sophistication that comes with age.
  4. I have always wished I was older that what I am.
  5. I love to create things, but I am a better planner than finisher.
  6. I have successfully beaten a coke (cola) addiction.
  7. I don’t mind the odd cigarette but for what I can actually feel it doing to my body.
  8. I am a wannabe hippy.
  9. I have not successfully beaten my iPhone addiction.
  10. I love tea.
  11. I went to 5 schools and lived in 5 different houses whilst growing up.
  12. I have seen numerous babies come into the world.
  13. I really love my mother in law.
  14. I won a Queen album at a pet competition for the smallest pet (sea monkeys)
  15. My dad smashed the album because he believed Queen were demonised.
  16. The first concert I ever attended was Duran Duran.
  17. I once participated in a school drama competition with a friend and improvised the entire thing.  
  18. I daydream to relax and fall asleep.
  19. I rarely remember my actual dreams.
  20. I have approximately 26 first cousins.
  21. I alternate between thinking I am a good mom and a sucky one on a regular basis.
  22. I really want a tattoo.
  23. I really want a tragus piercing.
  24. I really want to ride horses.
  25. I really want to travel the world.
  26. I really want to race a car around a track.
  27. I love pretty clothes, I love gothic clothes, I love bohemian clothes. My sense of style is a little mixed up.
  28. I watch way too many dodgy makeover programs on TLC
  29. Sometimes I imagine myself in awful scenarios – it is how I know I might cope if I was actually put in such a situation.
  30. I write really good business letters.
  31. Bad spelling irritates me.
  32. I don’t like stupid people.
  33. I don’t like narrow minded people.
  34. I don’t like vacuous people.
  35. My favourite chocolates are little Lindt Lindor balls.
  36. My favourite ice cream flavour is stracciatella. Any flavour Haagen-Dazs will do too. 
  37. I once had a tiny cup of molten chocolate at a cafe in Bath, England. It was the most sublime thing I have ever tasted.
  38. I love cooking for fun and hate cooking for necessity.
  39. I am on diet at the moment. Can you tell?
  40. My least favourite part of the day is the part where I am required to make school lunches.
  41. I am running out of things to say.
  42. I cherish alone time, and absolute silence.
  43. I change my hairstyle regularly.
  44. I always have my my air-con on in my car.
  45. I over analyse things.
  46. I have difficulty making decisions about little things.
  47. My least favourite day of a week is a Thursday.
  48. I love sleep
  49. In an ideal world, I would go to bed late and wake up late.
  50. Nicole was right, this was quite difficult.


27/31 Undomesticated Goddess

I posted a music video yesterday  and I was reprimanded by the undressed goddess about not posting the story behind it… 

Nicole is a fabulously talented musician – talents of which I am very envious. She is doing a 12 month music video project in honour of a departed friend and I felt privileged albeit a little daunted when she asked me to help her create one of the videos. I am not much of a photographer or videographer, but nonetheless a keen iphoneographer. And I am an artist, so creating a visual representation of a beautiful song is appealing.

The opportunity to assist arose when I had the house all to myself one weekend. The idea was to film a desperately depressed housewife (as opposed to a Wisteria Lane variety of Desperate Housewife) going about her day. I was a little uncertain about how the process would work as I watched Nicole getting into character, but I quickly got the idea and I really enjoyed helping her and her talented daughter Darcy set up the shots. I felt oddly vulnerable whilst setting up the shots of Nicole in the kitchen, eating and reading a diet book – a little too close to home?  I think at some point, the artist me took over – I loved taking some of the artsy photos and was really impressed with how some of them turned out.

After handing over the visuals I had shot, the editing was left in the capable hands of Darcy and Nicole and Hey God was the result. It turned out pretty much exactly how I envisioned it might – so happy with the result!

Thanks Nics for letting me be a part of the process. x

29/31 Having a passion can be a pain in the butt!

I grew up in a family with some fairly rigid religious views which I rejected once I reached an age where I was independent enough to do so. To this day I shy away from sharing strong views on anything. It was hard to grow up feeling different from everyone and I think I always feared rejection because of those differences. It’s a fear I am not entirely sure I have ever grown out of. I do have opinions – but I often keep them to myself, or share them with those who won’t challenge me.

I have realised recently though that whilst my religious views may not be the same as those of my family, I have a passion of a different nature and the fervor with which I approach my passion might actually be similar to the fervor with which my family approach their religion. 

The passion in question is for natural childbirth. I have spent the last few years learning about all things related to childbirth and I have some fairly strong views about the best way for a baby come earth-side. These views often leave me very frustrated as I hear others feeding the misinformation and myth surrounding pregnancy and birth. Misinformation about things like due dates, reasons for c sections, issues with breastfeeding leave me so irritated. I still keep my mouth shut a lot of the time, and that’s probably a good thing as each woman has her own road to travel and for most women, these issues are really non issues. 

It is a lesson that I keep relearning – not to care so much. 

30/31 – Letting go bit by bit

My kids are pretty close, both in age and relationship. Oh, they do fight – they bicker and they bash each other, but most of the time, they are great playmates for each other. In fact, even though they each have their own bedroom, they choose to share a room! My boy is an excellent big brother and my girl is an adoring thoughtful little sister (most of the time)

Today, a quiet Saturday afternoon – father and son watching football and daughter playing with her cousin – I had a call from my son’s friend’s mom – would he be keen to come round for a last minute sleepover? My child was virtually out the door before I had even put the phone down! 

I was left with a devastated little girl crying her heart out in her bedroom. Heartbreaking, but what is a mom to do? They are both growing up, but he will always be the one to experience things first and it wouldn’t be fair to stop him from doing things just because she can’t do them yet. Many tears, and a promise of a McDonalds McFlurry later, she calmed down and resumed her game with her cousin.

And I was a little anxious. We have known this family via school for the last 5 years, my son has been allowed to sleep out before, I am a fairly relaxed mom, I know he is in good hands, he is a confident easygoing child…   but it is still a little nerve wracking to drop him off for a night out at a buddy.

Sometimes it’s hard to be 6. And sometimes it’s hard to be 34. Life changes, bit by bit and we have to deal with it. 

31 posts in 31 days

What inspires you to write what you write?

In taking up my friend Nicole’s (http://www.goddessundressed.wordpress.com) challenge to blog each day for March, I first had to try and recall my previous blog logins (unsucessfully) and then decide on a new blog host (Hello Tumblr!) and finally decide on something to blog about (which leads me to this post!)

I could post about my parenting attempts… I am the mom to two (mostly) adorable kids, age 6 and 8. But I get bored reading other blogs singularly about mom things. A few nights ago I went to a focus group on a popular breakfast cereal… There was money in it, and I thought it may be fun – as I sat there discussing the merits of cornflakes with 7 other mothers in their mid-thirties, I was cringing. I really didn’t want to be identified as nothing more than a mom with an opinion on cornflakes, even by a bunch of anonymous market research executives.

I could post about my home life in general… husband, kids, 2 cats and what my dog has chewed most recently (today it was my two month old Fossil watch!) But Gemma the Farting dog doesn’t chew something everyday (only every other day) so I may run quickly out of ideas (or assets – depending on the dog’s behaviour?)

I could post about my art. On confident days, I call myself an artist. On less confident days, I refer to myself as someone who plays with paint. Posting about my art would imply that my art is prolific, when in truth, it is just about ideas and images that capture my imagination and occasionally I manage to transfer them to canvas, with varying levels of success.  

I could post about my passion for natural, spiritual childbirth. But there are tons of blogs in the webisphere about birth… what more could I add except my love?

Perhaps this blog could be about spirituality and my search to find my spiritual side? But that could get tediously airy fairy when in fact most of the time I have my feet firmly on the ground. 

A foodie blog could be fun? I love cooking and baking and eating… eating…eating… no, for goodness sake girl, get a grip, I am on diet and baking is just sheer torture when I am trying to avoid carbs!

Maybe a blog about diets? Gosh, I have spent most of my adult life either on or in between eating programmes. After loads of soul searching, I think I may finally have gotten to the bottom of my food issues and gained some deep insights into the psyche of a carb addict, but actually ridding myself of the kilograms is an ongoing battle. And I don’t like to identify myself by my weight because who then will I be once the pounds are gone? 

Perhaps I will post about each of the above ideas and more… There is so much more to me than a mom with an opinion about cornflakes.